I’ve been so busy lately that I seemed to have forgotten my 2nd love, writing; my first is God. I’ve been going after the American dream, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, where ever that leads me to rekindle my fire, I’ve studied the process of writing, I’ve read books on how to write. I’ve joined groups on telling stories about the things I’ve written in the past but I looked at my notebooks still full of pages and my calendar blank of my scheduled future writing. But a writer’s gotta write to be a writer.
This is a problem and probably explains why I’ve had a bit of an edge lately. I feel as if a part of me and who I am is missing when I’m not writing. When I write, I seek the guidance of God and google for my issues or things just on my heart. I get to a place where I feel the anointing of God like in no other place. For it was He that asked me, what I originally thought was a question but realized it was an appointment, in 2009 who shall write of His glory.
I had to sit down one day and analyze the situation and find out just what my problem was. To my surprise, I found out I lost my focus and inspiration. This is like needing a quadruple heart bypass for a writer with no doctor in the room. Focus for me as a writer was always a challenge, if you saw me write you’d think I was bipolar, dyslexic, OCD, and just nuts. I’d be all over the place as ideas and sentences rushed through my mind but I’d always reel them in. Now my focus can’t be tamed. When I reel it in, I’m too exhausted to write. My inspiration waned. I discovered it was because of writing wounds. Writers know what I mean, those are the many disappointments and rejections that overshadow the acceptance and approval for assignments we so long to get. It’s the point when the mind says to you, why try after the doors are shut in your face or on your foot for your next writing opportunity. And to top it all off I went back to grad school to get my Master’s degree. What was I thinking! But a writer’s gotta write to be a writer.
The ultimate danger to this would be the total loss of my passion for writing. If I lost this, I wouldn’t think it important to jot down that topic or get up early or stay up late to finish until my soul was satisfied and God was pleased. I would not be pleasing in God’s sight because He commissioned me to write of His glory. All those who send me emails, postcards, or call to say how my pieces have helped encourage them or their family members would cease and maybe the one who would have saw hope through my words would be left with despair and decide to choose the wrong solution.
Just like someone hangs on to a dying relationship with someone they love so dear, I’m going to run after my 2nd love, writing, like never before. I’m going to sit and just meditate, listen to music and let my mind wander while I put away the cares of this world for a while. I’m going to schedule time again on my calendar to face that blank page on my laptop and fill it up with my thoughts. I’m going to read more until my inspiration resurges again.
I’ll go back before the One who gave me the commission to write and ask for His help. One thing I know, He will provide what I need to accomplish what He told me to do, as I do my part. It’s not that I don’t have material, my daily life is one fantastic story after another. I need His help to minimize the disconnect and distraction of getting my thoughts from my heart to the paper. I need His help to open the door that no one can shut and shut those where no one can reopen for me. But one thing for sure, a writer’s gotta write to be a writer.
Enjoy life, trust God, and never ever lose your passion.