Saturday, December 30, 2017


As I look back, I realize the weight of facing some of the worst hardships and life altering challenges during the past two years.  I survived emotionally numbing blows in recent years, and because of the holidays, only to relive some incidents afresh.  I lost loved ones and friends dear to my heart.  I saw the true colors of many, left abandoned and like my grandma use to say, up the creek without a paddle, on several occasions. 

It seemed that at every turn, another door was either closed in my face or at my back.  I felt boxed in and forced in a state of bondage.  There were times I called out asking God if He saw me.  I felt as if He was watching me suffer these things as He watched the guards beat Jesus beyond recognition.  I felt my old nature rise and a bit of old Chris resurfaced; the one that jumps into action to take care of Chris and handle people and situations.  I want to keep that old girl under control because she’s dangerous.  The last time I let her have free reign for just 1 hour, it took years and several attorneys to get things resolved.  The reborn Chris just kept saying be still, do nothing, God is not blind nor has He turned His back on you.  It’s God that has brought you to this place and time in life.  Wait on God, my spirit would say.

I started to imagine my situation.  My spirit was feeling as if I’m standing in a paneled room boxed in with no visible way of escape.  Each wall of this room is touching me on the front, the back, and the sides.   I wait with my hands folded behind my back.  I kept hearing a familiar clicking sound.  Familiar in that I know I’ve heard is somewhere before, long ago.  Then I remembered our old camper.  The cabinets and closets in it didn’t have handles and the surface look streamlined and you had to know where to press them to get them to open.  I had trouble with a few of them, just couldn’t seem to get the press right to make it open until several tries. 

Then I heard God say to press with my hands behind me, and a door opened.  I stepped back and God began to give me insight into why things happened this year.  No great mystery, it was His will and it was what was best for all involved.  He showed me how the past two years were a proving year for me.  He showed me how much He loved me and had invested in me.  It was a year during which I was being branded for His purpose for my life, to write of His glory, as John was banished to the Isle of Patmos to write the book of Revelations.    One mistake was to believe in the word of people and depend on them for help and not look to God first then He would send the help I needed.    

 I found myself back in that paneled room and I was instructed to press again on a place in front of me.  As I did, a door opened.  As I stepped out the way wasn’t clearly marked and a bit foggy and unstable in places.  God whispered, if I trust Him, He’ll lead me and show me the way.  To be successful, I’d have to get rid of the useless baggage from the past year that would hold me down or cause me to fall.

Beyond the love and investment God has placed in me, I take away from this image that even when people and situations seem to have us boxed in, all we have to do is look and wait on Jesus; then press, and He’ll open a way of escape.  If we trust Him, He will lead and guide us through our day to day life.  To be successful, I must press the door closed on the past and focus on today with Christ. 

For 2018 join with me in my resolve, like that of the Apostle Paul described in Philippians 3:1-15, to forget those things which are behind, and reaching for those things ahead, then press the mark, for the prize, which is the high calling of God, in Christ Jesus.  Let’s do a New Year Press.

Monday, December 4, 2017


I’ve been going though the days aimlessly without good direction and less purposeful for the last month or so.  I run out of things to do.  It’s been a long time since I’ve had that happen. 

Many of you may already know, I recently had to put down my 15-year-old pup.  That single event left a hole in my life.  I didn’t realize the extent of the place he held in my heart and just how much of my days were intertwined with his daily care. 

Warm memories come to fill that empty place in my life and heart.  I remember him catching rabbits in the yard and bringing them to me as a prize.  We sat on the deck in the Summer in our own lawn chair, just chillin.  He’d roll over for everyone to rub his belly.  He attacked the bird that flew too close to me in the yard.  I remember wetting him with the tears I shed when I came home from the hospital after my husband and father passed.

For the past four years, if he went anywhere, I had to carry him.  I can’t count the times I’d walk past and rub or hug him.  I would talk to him or sing while rocking him, even though he was deaf and blind

I learned so much from my pet.  He taught me first hand unconditional love, patience, loyalty and trust beyond measure.  He instilled confidence in me from his wagging tail. Even when something went wrong, his warm paw and cold nose was my rock of support.

As I sit here today, I ask, what do I do now? I hear the Spirit of God telling my heart to continue in my purpose; to tell my story.  We all have a story to tell.  I’m to tell of those who’ve altered the direction of my life, like the love of Christ did. I will share each chapter as they evolve. The one of my pup shows God using him for the recent season I’ve been through; my valley of the shadow of death.  The love of my pup was not in vain. 

From this, I can somewhat understand how the disciples and friends of Jesus felt after His crucifixion.  Hearing His words that He’d leave them one day taking them somewhat casually, only to awaking to the reality of his brutal treatment and death on the cross.  I understand their wandering around aimlessly and gathering in out of the way places to regroup their thoughts about what their next steps should be.  Maybe even asking themselves, what do I do now.

I’m sure they remembered all the things they took for granted like the conversations of Jesus and His very presence; never imagining Him not with them.  But after His death, savoring every minute they looked in His eyes, heard his voice or felt his touch.

After His resurrection, Jesus came to encourage and comfort them and to prove He had risen.  They too played an important part.  Their part was to share the greatest love story ever told, the Gospel of Christ.  This purpose became their life long work.

If you’re struggling to find your way or searching for what to do with your life after a great lost, look to Jesus.  I guarantee He’ll supply what you need for your season, just as my pup was for me.  He knows what we should do next, for He orders our steps. Then Tell your story as I’ve shared mine.  Enjoy your journey.  Thanks for letting me share my story with you.